Is this Real Life, or is this Just Fantasy?
- Kort
- Nov 7, 2017
- 2 min read
I can still feel him sometimes if I close my eyes and concentrate hard enough.
When we were kids, he always told me that I just needed to believe harder. That if I did, I'd be able to achieve anything I wanted. I don't know how true that is, but he never failed to improve my confidence.
Even when I failed, he was there to support and encourage me, his words a beacon of hope pulling me back from my dismal self loathing. Kai thinks that we lost "the twin thing", our connection, a long time ago. Maybe he did. I can't be sure really.
All I know is that when he's out there running on fumes, I still feel the fatigue. When he's dehydrated, I am parched.And worst of all, when his heart aches for Ellie, so does mine.
I wish I could control it. I hate him for it more often than I care to admit.
Do you know what it's like not knowing whether you really are in love with a person or whether it's just your twin brother's emotion empathically bleeding through? Can you fathom the confusion that may arise from that sort of thing?
I'd wager to guess that most people will never understand.
Maybe Ronin is right. Maybe if I throw my support behind him and we're able to ... Maybe if Kai wasn't an issue anymore I could finally find relief.
Maybe I'll finally know for sure.
Until then, my arms wrapped around her as she sleeps is as real as it gets. It feels real, at least.
I hope it remains.
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